Drowning
by fandoms.before.family
Summary: Set after the date in 4x04 where emma and Killian were in a car accident on their way home. Killian isn't dealing with it too well and is currently staying with the charming family. Sorry it's a bit dark and probably wont be more then two or three chapters, includes self harm
1. Chapter 1

Killians PoV

Tall shadows stretched along the cold timber floor. The sky grew darker, the colours dimming as the sunset dipped down beneath the horizon. Behind me the door closed with a soft thud that echoed slightly throughout the room. Twinkling lights shone in the black velvet sky, diminished by the curtains I pulled across. The room was enveloped in darkness.

Finally the day has come to an end. No more faking, no more lying. No more smiles, no more telling myself it's ok. The facade broke. I screamed in frustration, it was never going to be ok, I know it. Kicking the wall I sink to the ground. Beside me sits the hook, a reminder of both my Milah and my Emma. I lift the tip of it to my wrists.

It had been a year since the accident. Emma was beside me, we were driving through the dark streets of storybrooke in the yellow bug and she was laughing about something I'd said. Her smile as bright as the sun. She had been so beautiful just then in that moment. The pastel pink dress and her silky blonde hair tied up. It was the picture perfect memory that I treasured more than any gold or jewel. And then I heard the glass shattering, falling on us like glitter. Vaguely, I remember her scream, the headlights illuminating her face, the deep red blood covering her perfect face. Everything after that was just muffled sounds and darkness. And it was all my fault.

Threads of blood encircled my wrists. It was all my fault, it's all my fault... 'ITS MY FAULT' I shouted. Picking up my rum I downed the bottle in one gulp. My chest ached and my throat was tight from holding in the tears...

David's PoV

Hearing shouts emanating from the bedroom I raced down the hall grabbing my sword on the way. My shoes thudded dully on the wooden floor. As I got closer I recognised Killians voice, I could hear him becoming more agitated by the second. I could never quite get to him fast enough. I skidded to a stop when I recognised Emma's door.

Trying the handle even though I knew it would be locked I shoved my hand in my pocket reaching for her hair pin. Hands shaking I jostled the pin around in the lock just the way shed taught me, remembering brought tears to my eyes. As I heard glass shattering inside the room I knew I was already too late.

Finally I turned the handle and the door flew open. 'Killian...' I whispered. Slumped against the wall and unconscious, a broken bottle beneath his hand and with Crimson ribbons trailing from his wrists. His cheeks were stained with tears and his hook sat still bloody beside him. Held close to his heart, clenched in his fist was a blood stained photograph of emma, my beautiful daughter. I walked over and at beside him, drowning alone in my memories.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N the car accident has just happened and emma is kinda flashing back through her memories of the day**

...Marching into Granny's I saw Killian throwing darts in the corner. Henry had reassured me and I found myself confident that this was going to be a good decision.

'I'm here to ask you out.' I stated, I must have startled him because the dart completely missed the board. He turned around with a kind of look of relief mixed with hope.

'To dinner... Or something' I quickly added in, trying not to sound too cocky. He had the cutest smile...

...'Erm, Emma...' David grunted from across the room. I glanced down at the Rose Killian held in front of me... And the hand which held it. He looked so... Amazing, I hadn't noticed.

'Is that...?' I whispered in disbelief.

'Mine? Yeah, the dark one kindly restored what he once took from me.'...

...'I wasn't too hard on him was I?' I heard David, Dad, ask as the door closed behind us. A soft smile touched my lips...

...'Look swan, I didn't bring you here to worry about the snow queen. I brought you here to have a good time.' I told myself I'd have to try, for him, to relax, we both deserved a nice night to ourselves and I hadn't seen him as happy as he is tonight for a long time...

...'He is not gonna ruin this night' I was sure of it. Killian kept glancing at his hand, I was suspicious but I wouldn't say anything now. Maybe later Id ask him about it. Right now I was focused on making him realise that this night was perfect.

'Killian? Hey hook, it's okay, it was just a glass of wine.' When he looked at me I knew that something was wrong...

...Glass was falling like glitter, throwing reflections of light over the scene. My head throbbed and something warm and sticky coated the side of my face. My eyes were slowly closing but I wasn't going to give up. I forced myself to look at Killian, his eyes were full of terror and pain, he looked so worried about me. I wanted to reach out, to reassure him that I was going to be okay. But I knew it wasn't true...


	3. Chapter 3

Killians PoV

Just one night, one more sleep and then tomorrow it'll all be over, I whispered to myself as the darkness crept through my vision...

... I woke early, restless to get going. I grabbed Emma's photograph and shoved it in my pocket. I was a coward, but I couldn't live without her.

I closed the door softly behind me, hoping I hadn't woken Snow and baby Neal. The fresh morning air hit me in the face, it woke me up more than the swig of rum I'd taken.

Sunlight was still absent from the sky and the cold would have reddened my cheeks and stung my eyes, but after hundreds of years at sea it didn't really bother me.

My breath came out in puffy white clouds as I revved the engine. The beat up car groaned in the freezing temperature, it seemed as though it's teeth were chattering. Finally it started and the yellow bug backed out of the driveway...

The sun was just rising as I strode across the docks, they reminded me so much of her. The smell of the sea was so familiar, it seemed fitting to end it here. If only the Jolly Roger was here to witness it.

Boarding a ship I knew what I had to do. It was the way that so many pirates had finished, if I really was going to so this I had to leave with some dignity. My photo of emma held tight in my hand, I stepped up onto the plank...

**A.N well that's the end, sorry for ending it like that but everyone loves a cliffhanger :D**


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